Oh, look at me, I've suddenly had a burst of creativity, so I'm returning to my blog. Yup, that's right. I know I haven't been writing many blog post's this year (and I apologise for that) but I can't help it if my minds not been in it. OK, so I could of pushed myself to write a bit more, but who wants poorly written blog posts for the sake of "Oh I haven't written a blog post- I better write one..."? (Although, let's be real, all these posts are pretty, poorly written even when I have got the creative flow.)
Today, I want to talk about acquaintances. What makes a person a friend and what turns them into an acquaintance? How do you differentiate the two? I'm not going to lie, growing up, I was always someone that had lots of friends, purely because I enjoyed engaging in conversation, and I am naturally a very happy person, therefore I tended to get along with different people. When I was in high school, I thought the word 'acquaintance' just meant some body that you liked and got along with, but wouldn't necessarily go out of your way to meet up with them outside of school, or tell your deepest, darkest secrets to. Yes, it's nice to have a big group of friends, especially when you're in school as it makes you look cool and popular, but lets be real, how many of them are true friends? how many of them would be willing to help you if you were in need? If you needed a shoulder to cry on, would they come running because they genuinely cared, or would it be to know the gossip? If it's gossip, they're probably just an acquaintance. There's nothing wrong with having people in your life that you refer to as being acquaintances, nor is it wrong to BE an acquaintance. We all have people in our lives we're closer to than others. Just be careful who you lend your heart to.
Since I left college, a year ago, I decided to cut out anyone in my life that didn't have a positive impact. I'll be honest, I wasn't happy. Throughout my time at college, I found myself locked into a routine that dragged me down. Don't get me wrong, I loved my classes, and my teachers, and the people I shared my lessons with, and if I had the opportunity to, I would one hundred per cent do it all over again! But there were certain people that I chose to hang out with that just didn't interest me. That's not me trying to throw shade! They weren't mean, or horrible people, we'd just simply grown apart, and they weren't particularly exciting to me anymore. However, I chose to continue to spend time with them, because I was worried they'd be angry or upset with me if I spent my time elsewhere. After a while, I started to feel increasingly lonely. I'm not kidding, every body around me had either a best friend or a boyfriend and I had neither. A lot of the time when I wanted to go out with people, they were already busy, having made plans with their partner. As the year went on, it became a bit tedious, and I began to notice other people that made me feel much more myself; people who had similar interests, or had the same sense of humour, or people that just straight-up enjoyed spending time with me. So, I decided to focus on them.
When the college year was over, it became apparent to me who I'd rather spend my time with. Anyone that didn't make a difference to my life, and didn't influence any positivity, I let go of. *Starts singing Let It Go at the top of my lungs*. That doesn't necessarily mean if I saw old friends in the street I wouldn't say "Hello", of course I would.
I'll be the first to admit, OK, so I don't have a great deal of friends right now, and maybe that's my own fault for letting go of people, but the friends I do have are bloody brilliant (she says in her Ron Weasley impression).
There's been times in the past where I have poured my heart out to people, and just not received any kind of emotional input back. For example, the time I stuck my neck on the line for a friend (who I considered to be one of my bests) and once her problem was over, she never thanked me, or made any effort back. Let's call her... Jenny? I noticed Jenny had been getting picked on by a group of girls that she would've normally hung out with at school. I also got along well with the group of girls, as well as Jenny, however I didn't like the way they had been treating her, so without getting too involved, I made it clear to Jenny that I was always going to be there for her, should she need a friend to talk to, or someone to spend time with. Jenny DID get isolated by her friendship group, and I felt massively sorry for her. Seeing the way those girls spoke about Jenny, did kind of make me change my opinion of them. I spent countless lunch breaks sitting in a classroom with Jenny, making sure she felt like she had someone in her life that cared about her and made the effort to be around her. I listened to everything she ever had to say, and I'm really proud of the fact I stuck by her, and behaved as though a real friend should. Throughout my entire friendship with Jenny, I was constantly by her side, waiting with all ears, should she ever need to rant. Giving her a shoulder to cry on, and of course laughing our socks off together. Don't get me wrong, there has been times in the past when she has been there for me when I needed her most, and I am thankful for that. A couple years down the line, however, Jenny became slightly flaky, starting to make less effort to be my friend, and bailing on me when we'd made arrangements to go out for a coffee or whatever. Over time, we talked less and less, and now, funny enough, she makes more effort to see those girls who isolated her in school, than she does with me. Which kind of makes my efforts, feel unappreciated. She is now an acquaintance. The point I'm trying to make here is: If you put the time and effort in, looking after someone and listening to them when they have problems, and as soon as their problems are over, they don't help you to resolve yours, they are not a friend. They are an acquaintance.
I'm not saying that you should only ever help people with the intention that you'll get the same treatment back. Because that's not how being nice works. It's good to be kind to people and want to help them, and if someone comes running to you for advice, don't shy away from it. Be a friend, and be there when they need it, just make sure you don't make their problems your own problems. Don't give them all your heart, if it's not going to be returned.
Friends help and support each other. They make each other laugh, and bring a positive impact, in some way or another. Don't be the person that someone picks and chooses when they do and don't need you. Likewise, YOU shouldn't be the person that chooses when to pop up in peoples lives, if you don't intend on sticking around as soon as your issues are solved. (I hope that made sense). Stick together, inspire one another and most importantly, listen to each other.
I'm not trying to say that I am an angel, or that I am the most perfect friend anyone could ever ask for. I'm sure I've done things in the past that may of upset people. We all make mistakes. And that's OK. We're human. Sometimes people don't realise they're being unappreciative, until you give them a little nudge in the right direction. Sometimes people say things in a jokingly manner, not realising that actually, deep down, it hurt your feelings. Give everyone a chance. Let people screw up. But don't loose sight of what it means to be a friend, and what turns somebody into an acquaintance. If you realise you've done wrong- apologise!
Enjoy your friends! Show them you're appreciative! Smile! Look after yourself, as well as others!
Peace out! xx
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